Because I’m feeling like sharing the things I find chuckle worthy this morning. First up, many many thanks to Jan Sutter who mailed in one of the funniest letters to the editor I’ve read in a long time to the Alameda Sun:
I’m disappointed the tax-funded charter school thing didn’t fly. Holding teachers accountable and awarding merit pay to quality schools is good.
Fact is, we haven’t taken the model far enough. I think we should have charter police forces. Like charter schools, we should provide tax money for diversified law enforcement. We could start with the proven school model and have Catholic police precincts, Jewish, Evangelical, Muslim, Chinese Christian, agnostic and so on. We’d then establish tax-funded magnet police precincts with low crime to attract deserving citizens.
Of course, like charter schools, the police would be the ones to pick who lives in a district. Success would be measured using a police performance index (PPI). In law-abiding precincts, officers would get merit pay. Where law breaking was high, cops would be held accountable. If rampant crime didn’t drop, officers would be put on probation, reprimanded or even fired.
Still no improvement? Then under-performing police stations would be closed down entirely. Citizens would be given tax vouchers to relocate to better areas. Don’t want to move?
Then tax money would go to purchase firearms to form peer-driven, well regulated militias like in the Constitution. Which, to think about it, might make whole communities in Alameda lively learning-centers indeed.
And then for those of you that are actively following the national primary race, some guy named Mighty Rex has created a Guide to the Candidates, Star Wars Style. This should speak to your inner geek, or have you heading over to wikipedia to try to figure out who Boba Fett is. Someone should get this guy to do political commentary somewhere, it would be so much more fascinating than the current crop of folks that say the same thing: nothing. With apt characterizations like Darth McCain, Mitt Skywalker, and SeeJoe Threepio I’m waiting for the next installment. Or maybe an Alameda version when our local election rolls around, I think the folks over at Alameda Daily Noose could do a bang up job with “An Alameda Guide to the Candidates, the Harry Potter edition.”